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LOOK-ALIKE LAUGHS

 

"I was ugly until Rod sung Maggie May"

 

It's strange how people imagine that I have always been a Rod Stewart fan. When I was asked to start the band, I actually had to go out and get a video of Rod so that I could see who this guy was. 

 

We were doing a show  with Chris Purtee, who was recently voted "Best Elvis Impersonator In The World". He said to me "Do you know what I hate most about being a look-a-like?"

I said "No."

He said "These f******'ing  haircuts!

(I didn't tell him that I thought my 1985 haircut  looked quite cute)

 

I never pretend to be Rod (not even on stage) but sometimes when I'm passing people in the street and they ask for a picture or an autograph I just write "Rod" and move on. It's kinda like being Santa Clause at a children's party...you don't want to spoil their fun by telling them the truth.

 

We were performing at an open air concert and a girl of about 14 came over to the stage to ask for a particular song. 

I crouched down at the front of the stage and, with the microphone close between us, I asked her what she wanted to hear. 

"Could you play anything by the Spice Girls" she asked.

The crowd thought this was wild and started to laugh.

Just then an older man from the crowd shouted "Pay no attention Rod. I remember you when you were as famous as the Spice Girls."

 

People walk up, smiling and happy, and ask me if I'm Rod. When I say "No I'm just a performer who looks like him" their smile vanishes and they look at me as if I deliberately had facial surgery, just to fool them. I usually say, "Hey if I'd had plastic surgery I'd look like Brad Pitt, not Rod Stewart."

 

(See left) Ron Wood's cartoon version of Rod, is how I thought of myself, until Rod made those rugged, macho, good looks, acceptable. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was in Costa Rica with Alan Craig, the guitarist from "Fire In The Kitchen", and I was approached in a bar by a very attractive, blonde, American girl of about 22yrs. She put her hand on my arm and said "Can I sleep with you tonight....It would make my mother sooooo  jealous" (kinda kills the romance right there doesn't it)

 

When I lived in London, my friend and famous 

soap opera actress, Debbie Arnold, invited me to 

an after-show party. After the party we went 

out-on-the-town with Trudy Styler (now Mrs 

Sting) and rock guitar legend, Jeff Beck. After a 

while, with people constantly mistaking me for 

Rod,  Jeff said to me "You need to go 

somewhere where nobody has ever heard of 

'Maggie May'." (The planet Mars)

 

 

Sometimes I worry incase I'm getting Rod into trouble. I was on the west coast and I heard someone on the radio calling in to say that they had seen Rod, two days before, in Fort Lauderdale, drunk in a bar, with a tall blonde (see left) (it was a business meeting). I knew that it was me. I wondered what Rod's wife would be thinking if she heard it. Then I thought "Maybe we could cover for each other?"

 

I was doing a radio show in Fort Myers (Florida USA) 

 

and the DJ, Mike Mudd, who was interviewing me, 

 

said "What made you decide to do a Rod Stewart 

 

act?"   I said, "When I grew the mole on my cheek, I 

 

figured it was either him or Cindy Crawford" 

 

(P.S. My mole is on the opposite side from Rod's.)

 

 

 

It's terrifying sometimes to think that I 

 

look so 

 

much like Rod that whatever HE does 

 

effects how 

 

people treat ME. Thank goodness he's 

 

such a nice 

 

guy. 

 

 

On the other hand, I'm free to be a complete jerk 

 

and HE gets the blame. !!. (remember that story 

 

about Rod wearing ladies underwear...

 

that was me. 

 

But what else  are you going to say when 

 

your girlfriend finds  silk panties  in your pocket.)

 

 

People don't come to see me because I look like Rod, 

 

they come because I sound like Rod, and they love 

 

that sound. (except for those women who just love how he looks)

 

 

"If my parents could have afforded piano lessons, I 

 

could be Barry Mannilow tonight."

 

 

 

This one made me feel good. I was 

 

in Las Vegas last week and, after 

 

having dinner in the Paris Casino's 

 

restaurant, I was leaving with my 

 

date when I was approached by two 

 

attractive women. They asked 

 

"Excuse me but are you the real 

 

Rod or just an entertainer who 

 

looks like him?" 

 

I answered, "I'm just a guy who looks like 

 

Rod." and then with a wink to my date I added, 

 

"I'm with an agency here called, 

 

Look-a-Like-Lovers, 

 

I'm just hired for the night." 

 

The ladies looked at each other and then said, "Can 

we have your card?" 

 

(I smell a business opportunity here!)

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey I'm not miming. If I was, I'd be singing  Britney 

 

Spears.    Same haircut.... but better frock!"

 

See 

photo.                          

 

"My sister, May, is   here tonight. 

You will recognise her, she  looks  

just like me....but less make-up."

 

 

 

(sorry May, not a good  picture 

of you, but hey, I look good)

 

 

 

 

I realise that look-a-likes are about as popular as 

 

mimes, but it's not something that you can just choose 

 

to do, it's forced upon you when someone who looks 

 

like you becomes more famous than you are. ...I was 

 

actually trying to look like Fabio.

 

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