"I was ugly until Rod sung Maggie May"
It's strange how people imagine that I have always been a Rod Stewart fan. When I was asked to start the band, I actually had to go out and get a video of Rod so that I could see who this guy was.
We were doing a show with Chris Purtee, who was recently voted "Best Elvis Impersonator In The World". He said to me "Do you know what I hate most about being a look-a-like?"
I said "No."
He said "These f******'ing haircuts!
(I didn't tell him that I thought my 1985 haircut looked quite cute)
I never pretend to be Rod (not even on stage) but sometimes when I'm passing people in the street and they ask for a picture or an autograph I just write "Rod" and move on. It's kinda like being Santa Clause at a children's party...you don't want to spoil their fun by telling them the truth.
We were performing at an open air concert and a girl of about 14 came over to the stage to ask for a particular song.
I crouched down at the front of the stage and, with the microphone close between us, I asked her what she wanted to hear.
"Could you play anything by the Spice Girls" she asked.
The crowd thought this was wild and started to laugh.
Just then an older man from the crowd shouted "Pay no attention Rod. I remember you when you were as famous as the Spice Girls."
People walk up, smiling and happy, and ask me if I'm Rod. When I say "No I'm just a performer who looks like him" their smile vanishes and they look at me as if I deliberately had facial surgery, just to fool them. I usually say, "Hey if I'd had plastic surgery I'd look like Brad Pitt, not Rod Stewart."
(See left) Ron Wood's cartoon version of Rod, is how I thought of myself, until Rod made those rugged, macho, good looks, acceptable.
I was in Costa Rica with Alan Craig, the guitarist from "Fire In The Kitchen", and I was approached in a bar by a very attractive, blonde, American girl of about 22yrs. She put her hand on my arm and said "Can I sleep with you tonight....It would make my mother sooooo jealous" (kinda kills the romance right there doesn't it)
When I lived in London, my friend and famous
soap opera actress, Debbie Arnold, invited me to
an after-show party. After the party we went
out-on-the-town with Trudy Styler (now Mrs
Sting) and rock guitar legend, Jeff Beck. After a
while, with people constantly mistaking me for
Rod, Jeff said to me "You need to go
somewhere where nobody has ever heard of
'Maggie May'." (The planet Mars)
Sometimes I worry incase I'm getting Rod into trouble. I was on the west coast and I heard someone on the radio calling in to say that they had seen Rod, two days before, in Fort Lauderdale, drunk in a bar, with a tall blonde (see left) (it was a business meeting). I knew that it was me. I wondered what Rod's wife would be thinking if she heard it. Then I thought "Maybe we could cover for each other?"
I was doing a radio show in Fort Myers (Florida USA)
and the DJ, Mike Mudd, who was interviewing me,
said "What made you decide to do a Rod Stewart
act?" I said, "When I grew the mole on my cheek, I
figured it was either him or Cindy Crawford"
(P.S. My mole is on the opposite side from Rod's.)
It's terrifying sometimes to think that I
much like Rod that whatever HE does
people treat ME. Thank goodness he's
such a nice
On the other hand, I'm free to be a complete jerk
and HE gets the blame. !!. (remember that story
about Rod wearing ladies underwear...
that was me.
But what else are you going to say when
your girlfriend finds silk panties in your pocket.)
People don't come to see me because I look like Rod,
they come because I sound like Rod, and they love
that sound. (except for those women who just love how he looks)
"If my parents could have afforded piano lessons, I
could be Barry Mannilow tonight."
This one made me feel good. I was
in Las Vegas last week and, after
having dinner in the Paris Casino's
restaurant, I was leaving with my
date when I was approached by two
attractive women. They asked
"Excuse me but are you the real
Rod or just an entertainer who
looks like him?"
I answered, "I'm just a guy who looks like
Rod." and then with a wink to my date I added,
"I'm with an agency here called,
I'm just hired for the night."
The ladies looked at each other and then said, "Can
we have your card?"
(I smell a business opportunity here!)
"Hey I'm not miming. If I was, I'd be singing Britney
Spears. Same haircut.... but better frock!"
"My sister, May, is here tonight.
You will recognise her, she looks
just like me....but less make-up."
(sorry May, not a good picture
of you, but hey, I look good)
I realise that look-a-likes are about as popular as
mimes, but it's not something that you can just choose
to do, it's forced upon you when someone who looks
like you becomes more famous than you are. ...I was
actually trying to look like Fabio.
Where can we see the: Next Show
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